Broken
by Flamegirl22
Summary: Tony gets some devastating news and there is only one person there for him.
1. Chapter 1

Tony was sitting in his spacious office in the compound trying to get some work done on the newest Accords revisions. This round had several suggestions from the newly returned "Rouges". Thankfully, now that Barnes was safe, Steve was willing to be a little more reasonable. A big part of that, Tony knew, was Barnes himself. Tony couldn't deny he was still angry at Steve. Steve should have told him that the Winter Soldier had killed his parents as soon as he found out. Hell, he should have contacted Rhodey and told him with Rhodey there. That's what a friend, or a decent person, would do. But he had been afraid Tony would pull funding for his search for him. Tony can't say for sure if he would have or not. Rhodey thinks he wouldn't have, but Tony is less sure of that than Rhodey is. He would have been angry and hurt, of course, but people forget how exactly his mind works. In the right environment, Rhodey said, Tony would have been able to separate his feelings of grief and anger from the facts of the situation. Tony reacted as strongly as he did in Siberia because Barnes was standing right next to him. Had Steve told him somewhere he felt safe, with his brother with him, he would have accepted the news far better and faster than he did when he was essentially alone with his Mamma's killer.

If Steve would have stayed out of it, Tony would have hit Barnes a few times and that would have been the end of it. He was never trying to kill him. He was angry and hurt and he was lashing out at the weapon used to kill her. Even then, he knew that was all Barnes was, the weapon. Aunt Peggy had told him stories of the Howling Commandos all his childhood. Bucky Barnes was featured prominently in them. He had been Tony's favorite growing up. He knew, that man wasn't capable, off the battlefield, of cold-blooded murder. It just wasn't who the man was. But Steve had to make it worse by stepping in. Steve, Tony was angry at. He still was. He wasn't sure how he was going to get passed this particular betrayal. Rhodey constantly reminded him that he owed them nothing. But Tony couldn't not help Barnes. He didn't deserve what was done to him, no one does, but especially not him. Tony did understand that might be the left-over hero worship from his childhood coloring that opinion.

Tony threw his red pen down on top of the blotter sitting in the middle of his desk, frustrated with himself. He was supposed to be working, not thinking about the Rouges. He scrubbed his hands over his face and back into his hair. There was stubble on his cheeks and chin and his hair was slightly greasy. He had been at this for over fifteen hours. His chest hurt, every breath exquisite agony, now that the reactor was back in place. He wasn't sure he would ever be able to forgive Steve for that either. He thought he was going to die in that frozen wasteland. His platypus was having a harder time forgiving Rogers for that than he was. Just before Rhodey had to leave on a mission from the President word had come down that pardons had been issued for the Rogues. To say the man was furious would be an understatement. Tony had never seen him that angry before in his life. He tried to negotiate with the President about pushing his leave date back, but the President refused to postpone the mission. So, five days after he had left, they had returned. Tony hadn't been happy about facing them alone. It had gone about as badly as he thought it would.

Clint and Wanda were still angry at him and were throwing nasty little barbs his way whenever they crossed paths. How they blamed him for their imprisonment, he wasn't sure. You break the law, you go to jail. He still hadn't quite figured out how that was his fault. Wilson was pretty much the same as ever. Polite but cool when they met. He was always too much of a Cap yes man to really get along with Tony. Lang, Tony still wasn't sure why that man was here, besides being a Captain America fanboy. Rogers, with some time away, and Tony found out later, with some words from his best friend, finally started to realize that he might not have went about saving Bucky the best way he could. Which left Barnes. Tony was shocked by what he saw when he met the man again. He still stood tall and proud like the Winter Soldier did, but there was an almost visible sorrow that surrounded the man. His eyes were dark and tortured. But he had offered Tony his hand and a thank you so sincere that Tony couldn't help but thaw to him even more.

The six months they had been gone had flew by. The first month had been dedicated to Tony's own surgery and recovery. His sternum and the right side of his ribcage had to be rebuilt. The reactor had to go back in. He lost even more of his lung function. But, even bedridden, Tony had worked on improving his, Rhodey's and Bucky's futures. When he was finally released from the hospital he ignored Helen Cho's orders and hit the ground running. Tony had worked with Shuri to get rid of the triggers in Barnes head. He had also given his permission for BARF to be used to help treat him. BARF combined with traditional therapy and Bucky was doing better than anyone could have expected. So was Rhodey.

Tony had worked closely with Helen Cho to get Rhodey up and walking again. It required the used of the cutting-edge braces he had designed for him, but he was walking and without pain, and that is something Tony and Rhodey were both grateful for. Tony wasn't surprised at all when Rhodey wanted to get back into the War Machine armor. He was a soldier through and through. He was a hero long before supers came on the scene. As they both were recovering they had had several long talks about what to do about the Rouges. Tony knew his best friend didn't understand why he was helping Barnes but he accepted it. Tony had gotten his PR people on Barnes case as soon as he could. He made sure public opinion was on his side. He hadn't been pushing for pardons for the rest of them, just Barnes, but when he got word of them, he decided not to fight them.

Back and chest aching, Tony stood up and tried to stretch. He couldn't stop the grimace that twisted his mouth. It took him a few shuffling steps before his body loosened up enough to move smoothly. By the time he reached the door to his office anyone he would happen to run across would have no idea he was in a significant amount of pain. Tony made his way to the communal kitchen, it wasn't worth the effort to go to his own suite, for some more coffee and something to eat. He has a coffee maker in his office, as well as several jugs of water, but he needed food. His platypus wasn't going to be happy when he got home and saw how much weight Tony had lost.

Tony paused in the doorway to the kitchen. He looked at his watch, checking the time. It was three in the afternoon, Tony couldn't figure out why the kitchen was full at three in the afternoon. Wilson, Maximoff, Barton and Lang were all sitting at the table. Tony spared a minute to wonder where Barton and Lang's families were. Standing near the stove were Bucky and Rogers. Romanova was sitting by herself at the breakfast bar reading a book. All conversation stopped when the group at the table noticed him. The other three looked up from what they were doing when the others stopped talking.

Tony could feel the tension creeping up his back, but he forced his media smile on his face and sauntered into the room. He owned the whole building; he wasn't about to let them keep him out of any area in it. Especially not the common areas.

"Stark," Maximoff spat, glaring at him from beside Barton.

Tony took a minute to wonder how both Laura and Lila felt about Barton's relationship to the witch, but then mentally shrugged it off. It wasn't his concern.

"What are you doing here Tony?" Rogers asked.

Steve placed a hand on Bucky's shoulder and Bucky shrugged it off. Tony felt amusement curl in his chest seeing it. He also felt a bit bad for Bucky, Rogers was trying to shove him back into the mold of the man he remembered, but neither of them was the same anymore.

"He lives here, Stevie." Bucky said.

He stood at the stove stirring something in a pot. Tony could smell beef and vegetables and assumed he was making some sort of soup.

"I know that Buck!"

"I'm making vegetable soup. It'll be done shortly. I was going to bring you a bowl. You've been in your office a while. I baked some bread this afternoon too." Bucky said, ignoring Steve as he peered into the pot. "It should be another half hour or so. If you are busy, I'm more than happy to bring you a bowl."

Tony studied him carefully. He couldn't detect anything but honesty in those blue eyes. He could hear the muttering beside him and the frown Rogers directed to him was telling him to refuse, but Tony didn't want to spend that long with the Rouges. He was tired, in pain and still had hours of work before him.

"I'd apricate that Bucky, thank you."

"Tony you really don't need-" Steve started.

Bucky reached out and smacked Rogers in the shoulder to make him stop talking.

"This has nothing to do with you Stevie. Stay out of it." He said, voice hard.

Tony smiled at Bucky as he moved over to the counter to get a mug of coffee. For the first time he realized he didn't bring his mug with him. He reached up to get a mug only to have one of the larger ones he bought held out in front of his face. Tony followed the fingers up the arm to look into Bucky's face. It was softer than his usual resting murder face, his eyes warm. Tony took it with a small "thank you" and filled it to the brim with dark, rich coffee. He took a sip of the scalding liquid and found himself relaxing a bit as the heat soothed some of the pain in his chest. He took another, longer sip, ignoring the pain in his mouth, for the relief that it would bring to his chest. Tony lifted his mug in a salute to Bucky before saying a soft "thanks again" then left the kitchen.

When Tony got back to his office he couldn't help but think of the man he was getting to know. James Barnes was doing everything in his power to make up for mistakes that weren't his to atone for. As far as Tony was concerned, blaming him for what the Winter Soldier did, would be like blaming Clint for what he did under Loki's spell. Not fare and not accurate. Tony doesn't really know if he blames the Winter Soldier, either. He had been tortured for decades in ways that most people can't even begin to imagine. Of course he was going to eventually comply. It's fantasy to believe you can withstand torture indefinitely. No one can. Eventually, you break.

Tony wasn't quite sure why Bucky was taking the amount of interest in him that he was. Sure, Tony had created a new arm for him, then sent the design to Shuri, who made it out of vibranium; but that didn't explain it, not to him anyway. The vibranium was lighter and stronger than anything Tony could have made it with. Should more be needed T'Challa assured Tony he would provide it. Every now and then Tony could see glimpses of the man Aunt Peggy had told him about. Tony hoped he could eventually discover who he was now. Tony scoffed to himself, rubbed his eyes, then got back to work. He didn't have time to sit and think about James Barnes.

Tony was hunched over the thick stack of papers when there was a knock on the door. He sat up right, ran a hand over his mouth and called "Come in!"

The door opened to reveal Bucky standing there, holding a tray with the arm Tony had designed for him. A smile light up the other man's face, before his eyebrows drew back down and a frown pulled at his mouth.

"I'm fine," Tony said.

"You don't look fine moy drug, you look like you are in pain. You have been at this a long time. Don't you think it's time for a break? And by a break I mean some sleep." Bucky asked.

He set the tray down on his desk, well away from Tony's papers and motioned for him to gather them up. Tony hesitated for a minute before doing what he was wordlessly instructed to do. He marked the page he was on, gathered them all in a pile and shoved them in a drawer. Bucky slid the tray across the desk and for the first time Tony took stock of what was on it. There was a bowl, roughly the size of his face, filled with soup, a smaller bowl that also contained soup, two plates with bread and two glasses of what smelled like apple juice.

"If you didn't mind, I thought I'd join you for an early dinner," Bucky said.

Tony studied the other man, noticing the way he was hovering, he could hear the hint of uncertainty in his voice and offered a smile.

"Sure Snowflake. Pull up a chair. I'd like the company."

Bucky did as Tony said and pulled one of the chairs across from the desk closer to it so he could eat comfortably. Tony started to reach for the smaller bowl when cool metal fingers touched the back of his hand. He looked up to see sharp blue eyes watching him.

"Bigger one is yours," he said softly. "You don't eat enough."

Tony gave him a small smile and took the bowl he was told to. Bucky handed him one of the plates before he settled in with his own bowl.

"Is that going to be enough for you?" Tony asked, motioning to Bucky's bowl with his clean spoon.

Bucky shot a pointed look at the bowl sitting in front of him, before taking a bite of his own. He let out a soft hum before saying "I'll eat some more later with everyone else. Steve will have a fit if I don't. So this will do for now. I'm a super soldier, I'm always hungry. I didn't want you eating alone. I know how alone you are when Colonel Rhodes is gone."

As Bucky was talking Tony took a sip of his soup. He was shocked at how good it was. The broth was deep and rich. It took him back to a warm kitchen and warmer voices. A deep ache hit with the wave of nostalgia. A throat clearing brought him back to the present.

Tony saw Bucky looking at him, mouth curved into a slight smile, but his eyes were concerned. Tony thought back over what he said.

"It doesn't help that Pepper and Happy are in Japan right now. But hopefully he'll be home soon. I just really don't like not knowing how his mission's going. The last time I spoke to him he told me to wait until he contacted me. He's only ever told me that a handful of times throughout his career. The times he has, he's meant it. So I'm just going to have to wait. We both know now I do with waiting."

The rest of the meal passed with light conversation. When they were done eating Bucky gathered up the bowls, plates and glasses to take them back to the kitchen. As he stood before the door, he looked back at Tony. He looked tired and worn but offered a small smile as he pulled out the mass of paperwork.

"Don't stay up too much later Tony. You need some sleep. The next Council meeting isn't for three weeks. You have time yet." Bucky said.

Before Tony could say anything, Bucky slipped out the door and closed it behind him. He didn't know what he would have said anyway so that worked out. Tony worked for another hour before he took a break. He stood and stared out over the grounds. Tony had a corner office so he could see the outside training grounds as well as the front of the building. He was just about to go back to his desk when he saw a car pull up in front of the building. He watched as two men got out of the car, both in Airforce Dress Blues and he felt everything inside him go cold. He knew exactly why they were there. Tony closed his eyes, desperately hoping when he opened them again they wouldn't be there. But they still were, and Tony knew the reality he would have to face.

It felt like both a second and a lifetime before Tony heard a knock on his office door. His legs and fingers felt numb as he crossed the spacious room to open the door. As soon as Tony saw their faces, carefully blank and neutral, he knew there was no mistake. There was only one reason these two men, one a Colonel, the other a Chaplin, would be standing before him. He closed his eyes briefly, took a deep breath and invited them into his office.

"Have a-" Tony cleared his throat. "Have a seat."

"We are fine, Doctor Stark, however I think you should sit down." The Colonel, Markham, according to his name tag, suggested.

Tony thought about arguing, but he knew they wouldn't tell him anything until he was seated, protocol, so he slowly lowered himself onto the sofa off to the side of the room. Part of him wanted the distance that sitting behind the desk would provide, but it didn't feel right, so he tried to relax into the cushions. He knew what they were going to say and everything in him was tensed against it.

"What happened to Rhodey?"

Tony saw the resignation flash across both military men's faces and part of him was incredulous that they thought, even for a moment, that he didn't know why they were here. He listened, both detached and horrified, as the Colonel described his best friend's, his brother's last moments. He knew this wasn't something they would usually tell the next of kin but being both Iron Man and Tony Stark has its perks.

"Doctor Stark, I knew Jim personally, I don't have to tell you how great of a man he was. This country was lucky to have him." Markham said.

"He talked about you. You've known him since basic," Tony replied.

A slight smile softened Markham's face. Tony didn't have to be a genius to know he was thinking about Rhodey.

"I can tell you this, he was proud of you. If I'm being honest, back in basic, he never shut up about you. That hasn't changed much over the years. It was an honor and a privilege serving with and knowing Jim Rhodes. This country was better for his service and is a little worse without him."

Tony could only nod, he couldn't believe this was happening. It felt surreal. His gaze drifted over to the wall. Set into it was a screen that cycled through pictures. Currently there was a picture of him and Rhodey at their MIT graduation. They were so young then, their whole lives ahead of them. Tony closed his eyes, forcing back the emotions threatening to swamp him. He looked to Markham and asked, "Do they know who his escort is yet?"

He hesitated for a second, seeming to debate whether to answer him or not, and Tony forced himself to stay calm.

"Yes," Markham said, shortly. "Lieutenant General Cain will be escorting him."

Tony raised his eyebrows at the news.

"Yes, it's unusual, but considering who Jim Rhodes was, they thought it was appropriate."

"He also knew Bob well," Tony added. "I know he is the one he put down."

"Of course they were going to honor that." Markham said.

The room lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. Tony raised his right hand to rub absently at the reactor. He knew they were about to ask if there was someone they could get for him, protocol stated that they stay with him until another adult was present with him. He had no desire to see anyone at the moment, so he pushed himself to his feet and offered a sad smile.

"Thank you. Gentlemen, for letting me know."

"Doctor Stark, we should stay with you until you can have someone come be with you," the Chaplin, Donovan, said.

"Thank you for that, and I know that is what you are supposed to do, but I'm hardly alone in the building. I just, I need some time to… I need some time before I see anyone else." Tony said, hands in his pockets.

The two men exchanged a look then the Colonel nodded. Tony took the hand that was held out to him and gave it a firm shake.

"I'm sorry we had to meet under these circumstances Doctor Stark, and once again, I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you. I'm sorry we met like this as well." Tony said.

Tony walked with them to the door of his office and held it open for them to exit.

"If you need help, Friday will show you the way out."

"Thank you."

Tony watched them walk down the hallway before he closed the door. He leaned his head against it, feeling the burn of tears. He closed his eyes and tried to breathe. After several moments he pulled away and slapped his palm against the solid wood hard enough to sting. He sank down behind his massive desk, put his elbows on it and buried his face in his palms. The request for War Machine to go to Africa came from President Ellis himself. They both had their reservations, but in the end, they agreed that he could do it. The braces he had made for Rhodey worked wonders and he wasn't willing to give up War Machine. So, he went. The mission was classified so Tony only had sporadic contact with him. He had left three weeks ago. In that time they spoke four times. The first three times had been in the first week. After that Rhodey had warned him that he was going dark. Tony should have kept a closer eye on what he was doing. He could have done it without giving Rhodey away. The funeral would probably be in two weeks.

There was so much to do, but Tony couldn't bring himself to move from his desk. He would have to contact the Avenger's PR team, get them started on a statement. He knew the Airforce would be putting something out. He needed to contact a funeral home and get that process started. He needed to check the instructions Rhodey had left to him to see where he wanted to be buried. He knew he had to tell the other Avengers, but he just didn't have the energy right now to deal with them. He knew they probably were all in the kitchen having dinner. He had never joined them, but he had seen them all gathered for the evening meal. The two families joined them pretty much every night. A single tear dripped off his chin and splashed against the open contract before him. Tony watched as the neat red line spread out and he forced himself back away from the desk when visions of blood and Rhodey filled his mind's eye. He left the contract out on his desk, even though he usually put it away in his desk and locked it. But now, he just wanted to get away.

"No one in or out Fri," Tony rasped as he closed his office door. "Only me."

Tony made it to the elevator without seeing anyone. He directed Friday to take him to the workshop. When he got there he issued black out mode. He ignored the 'bots' beeps and whirs of concern, absently patting a strut as he wandered by. He made it to the sofa in the corner and collapsed onto it. He pulled the old, slightly ragged, blanket off the back. He had had it since their MIT days. More than once over the years Tony and Rhodey had curled up beneath it to watch movies, or tv shows or even to study. Right before he left they had spent an evening watching movies under it. He laid down on his side, facing out into his shop, pulled the blanket up to his chin and just laid there. He wasn't fully aware of the tears running down his face as he drifted off to sleep.

When Tony next woke he was disoriented and confused. It was dark in the shop. He didn't know why he was awake. Then he felt it, fingers running through his hair. He knew he had put the shop into black out mode before he went to sleep. He sat up suddenly, pulling away from whoever was beside him. His hands went to rest over the reactor as pain flared through his chest, fiery and bright.

"Easy kukla." A deep voice said. "It's just me."

Tony took a second to place the voice, his mind was in a jumbled mess. "Bucky?"

"Yes."

"How did you get in here? Did Friday let you in?" Tony asked, coming awake a bit more.

"Kukla, you've been asleep for twenty hours. She couldn't wake you. The 'bots couldn't wake you. When she finally alerted me to what was going on, she sounded frantic. Don't be mad at her." Bucky explained.

Tony looked over at him to see him watching him carefully. He sat there, frozen, unsure what to do.

"What's going on, Anthony?"

Tony opened and closed his mouth several times, but nothing came out. He never couldn't find the words he needed. He was horrified when he felt tears sting his eyes. He looked away quickly, hoping that the darkness would hide it. He ran a trembling hand through his hair, then pressed the back of it against his lips, breathing harshly through his nose.

"Anthony." Bucky said again, voice deep and demanding. "Do not ignore me. What is going on?"

Tony could feel the panic squeezing his chest, clawing its way up his throat. His Rhodey was gone. He was gone. Gone and there was nothing Tony could do about it. His breathing was getting harsher, catching in his chest, sending pain crashing over him. Tony knew he was quickly spiraling out of control but he had no idea what to do to stop it. Tony startled, badly, when warm fingers gripped his chin and pulled his head around. He met calm blue eyes, brows pulled low. He felt cold, hard fingers wrap around his wrist and guide his hand to a hard chest. He could feel the steady beat of a heart under his palm, middle and pointer fingers brushing over a protruding clavicle.

"Feel my heartbeat. It is steady. Feel me breathing," Bucky said, then took a deep breath, expanding his chest and let it out slowly. "Match my breathing."

Tony tried, pulling in a stuttering breath. He let it out too quickly, only to pull another in quickly.

"That is not what I said. Try again."

But Tony just couldn't match his breathing pattern. He found himself getting lightheaded. He vaguely heard a muttered "Sooksin!" before he was spun around and pulled against that same chest.

"Ok, listen to me Anthony," Bucky demanded, speaking directly into his ear. "You are going to breath with me. You are going to calm down. Your chest cannot take this, so you need to calm yourself."

Tony closed his eyes and focused on pulling in a steady breath, he held it for the count of three, then let it out to a count of eight. He did it again. For the next several minutes all he focused on was his breathing. When he was feeling slightly steadier, he started to pay attention to his surroundings. The first thing he noticed was Bucky's deep voice whispering praises and reassurance in his ear. He was so close he could feel his breath on his ear and jaw. The next thing he became aware of was the hard chest against his back, of the strong arm wrapped around his waist and a warm hand cradling his chest. Friday had raised the lights in the room, chasing away the dark. He slowly started relaxing his muscles, listening to the soft voice whispering in his ear the whole time.

"You are doing so well, Tony. That's it. Good job. You're ok."

Tony felt himself starting to truly relax. Thankfully that panic attack, while brutal, was fast. He knew the next thing that was going to happen was the trembling, but after that, it would be over. It started in his hands, went up his arms, getting stronger, until his whole body was quaking. The voice in his ear kept talking. Tony lost track of how long he sat there trembling for, but eventually it stopped, leaving him exhausted.

"There you go," Bucky whispered. "You're alright. C'mon Kukla, let's get you to your room."

Bucky stood, easily bringing Tony with him. Tony jolted as he was lifted, scrabbling slightly. Bucky brought him closer to his chest and Tony relaxed, feeling more secure. He allowed his head to drop onto Bucky's shoulder and he mumbled "Give me a minute and I can walk. You don't have to carry me."

"Shh, Tony. It's fine. It's not like you're heavy." Bucky paused and Tony opened his eyes to look up at him. "You need to eat more."

Tony didn't know what to say to that, so he chose to say nothing and closed his eyes again. Even though, according to Bucky, he had slept twenty hours he was exhausted, and he wanted nothing more than to sleep some more. He tried to tell himself that he couldn't. He had things to do. Rhodey deserved better than this from him. To his horror he felt tears welling up in his eyes again and his breath hitched in his chest.

"Hey now," Bucky said. "What's going on? Tony, talk to me."

Tony could only shake his head against Bucky's broad shoulder. He was afraid if he tried to speak that he would lose the battle with his grief. He hadn't even realized that they made it to his suite until he felt himself slowly being lowered onto his bed. He raised a shaking hand to cover his eyes, as if that would keep Bucky from seeing his tears.

"I can't force you to talk to me Tony, and I won't try. But, talking to someone may help. If you won't talk to me, have Friday call Miss Potts. Something is obviously wrong."

Tony looked at Bucky and all he saw was concern. That concern, something he wasn't used to from anyone but Pepper, Happy and most especially his Rhodey, was what broke him. A deep, wracking sob tore its way out of his chest. Followed closely by another. Tony saw Bucky's face soften as he reached out to place a hand on his shoulder.

"What is it? What can I do to help?" Bucky asked, stroking his thumb across his shoulder.

"Rhodey's gone." Tony said.

Tony watched as Bucky absorbed that information. Tony sat up, pulled one leg up to his chest and shoved a pillow between them, hoping to support his chest. Tony startled a bit when a strong arm slid across his shoulders and pulled him sideways.

"I am so sorry," Bucky whispered.

Tony just nodded against his shoulder. He knew he shouldn't be sitting here with Bucky like this, but he just didn't have the strength to pull away. He knew come morning he would have to face this. He would have to put his public face on and deal with his brother's death. He thought this was going to be the hardest thing he ever did or would do. He couldn't see anything harder than this. So, for tonight, he would take the comfort that was being offered and use it to fortify his dwindling strength. Tomorrow he would be strong.

Author's Note:

Thanks for reading everyone. This is my first pure Avengers fic, so I hope it was ok. The Russian... I got it off the internet so... Hopefully it's right!  
Kukla is doll  
moy drug is my friend  
Sooksin is son of a bitch

I have a confrontation in mind for chapter 2 between Steve and Tony, if ya'll are interested. I'm sorry it's been so long since I've updated any of my other fics. I'm working on them, I promise. See ya all soon!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Author's Note: Well, here's chapter two. The fight between Steve and Tony isn't nearly as intense as I thought it was going to be. Mostly he's just insensitive. I don't know if I'll write more for this or not. Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!

Tony woke slowly. Light was creeping in the room from his East facing windows. He was surprised to find himself laying down. He knew he fell asleep leaning against Bucky last night and wasn't that humiliating. He pushed himself up, hand reaching for his chest. He wasn't adjusting to the reactor as quickly this time. Getting old wasn't fun. Tony got out of bed and went into the bathroom to take care of his morning needs.

Tony stepped out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam a half hour later. He pulled on old jeans and an MIT sweatshirt that originally belonged to Rhodey. It was oversized on Rhodey, so it was very large on Tony, but it was warm, and it was comfortable. He figured he would need that comfort today. Tony paused just outside his bedroom door when he smelled coffee. Unless Friday had taken the initiative to start his coffee, which wasn't something she had done yet, someone was in his suite. He wasn't surprised when he entered the kitchen to see Bucky standing at his counter. He was surprised to see him dishing out bowls of oatmeal. Now that he was in the room, he could smell that too. It smelled of cinnamon and vanilla. Already sitting on the breakfast bar was a bowl of cut fruit, fresh orange juice and a plate piled high with crispy bacon.

"What are you doing?" Tony asked, leaning against the doorframe.

Bucky looked up, but Tony knew that there was no way he had gotten that close to him without his noticing, then looked back down at the food. "Making you breakfast. I was hoping you wouldn't mind if I joined you."

The shorter man pushed off the doorway and moved into the room. He narrowed his eyes at the other man and put his hands in his pockets while he asked slowly "Why?"

"What do you mean, why? I may not remember much from before the War, but I do remember my Ma cooking for friends and relatives when people they loved died. It's what you do," Bucky pushed a lock of hair out of his eyes. "If you don't want me to stay, that's fine, I can leave, but Tony, I really don't think you should be alone right now. I won't get in your way, you can do what you have to do, but…"

"I guess I'm just not sure why you care."

Tony hunched slightly at the glare Bucky sent his way. Just as he was straightening up, preparing for a fight, the look on the former assassin's face softened. When he spoke, his voice was soft. "I know how much Rhodey meant, means, to you. I-this can't be easy. I guess… You have been there for me, supported me, since I came here with the others. I just want to return that. Honestly, I thought we were friends and that's what friends do."

"That's different," Tony said, waving a hand. "You needed the help and I could provide it."

"So, which is it? Do you not need help, or do you think I can't provide it?"

Tony paused, trying to figure out how to answer that. He liked the other man, he felt for him, and he would have said they were friendly, but he hadn't realized the other man considered them friends. Tony moved to the counter, sat down and kicked the chair beside him out. He jerked his head toward it. Tony relaxed his shoulders when the other man slid in beside him.

"Thank you. This looks good."

Bucky didn't say anything, just handed him a bowl of oatmeal then pushed the fruit at him. For several minutes the only sound in the room was of the two men eating. Once Tony had the worst of his hunger pangs slaked did he speak. "What happened last night?"

Bucky looked up at him, dark eyebrows pulled low. He finished chewing what was in his mouth and swallowed before asking "What do you mean?"

"The last thing I remember was-" Tony felt his face grow hot. "Was crying on your shoulder. Then I wake up this morning in bed. Why didn't you just leave me where I was?"

"Do you have any idea how much that would have hurt your chest? You might not care, but I do. You don't need to be in any more pain than you have to be."

Tony didn't know what to say to that, so he turned his attention back to his breakfast. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Bucky do the same. They didn't really talk much after that.

When they were both done, Tony made sure Bucky had enough to eat, he started cleaning up. When the super soldier moved to help Tony waved him off. "You cooked. I'll clean. Go have a seat in the living room. That's where I'll be in a few minutes. Want me to bring you coffee?"

"I'll get the coffee."

Tony watched, out of the corner of his eye, Bucky doctor two cups of coffee as he washed up the stuff from breakfast. There wasn't enough to warrant running the dishwasher. Bucky had cleaned up after himself as he went. When he was done with the dishes, Tony wiped down the counter and breakfast bar, stalling. He knew what he was going to have to do when he got done in here and was trying to put it off as long as he could. Tony closed his eyes, pulled in a deep breath, then went into the living room.

"So, I need to call Pepper and Happy first. Then I need contact Maggie from the Avengers PR team. They will need to release a statement. I'm not sure how long the Air Force is going to hold off on theirs. Maggie can coordinate with them if she feels she needs to. Then I need to tell the rest of the team. They need to know before it breaks. I'm surprised the military has managed to keep it quiet this long." Tony said as he sat down across from Bucky.

Tony took the cup the other man nudged him. It wasn't the black he usually took it. He knew he added some sore of creamer to it from the slightly lighter shade of brown. He took a sip. It was good. A hint of cream and sugar. He cradled it between his palms for several long minutes, before, with a sigh, he set it back down.

"Friday, call Pepper."

"Right away Boss."

Bucky watched Tony intently as the sound of a ringing phone filled the room. Tony sat up straighter as the phone was picked up.

"Tony, you know I'm in a business dinner right now, can this wait?" Pepper's voice filled the room.

"Pep, you need to go somewhere private. I need to talk to you and it can't wait. It's waited too long already."

"Tony I really don't-"

"Pepper, now. Take Happy with you and put it on speaker." Tony said, standing to pace.

There was a pause before Pepper said slowly "I'll call you back in a few minutes," then hung up.

Tony ran his hands through his hair as he walked to the far side of the room. He looked down over the back of the training grounds. The Barton and Lang families were outside, the kids playing together. Tony wondered what the rest of the team was doing. Bucky stood to fill his coffee cup. He took the long way around the room so he could lay a gentle hand on Tony's shoulder. Tony offered him a small smile before turning his attention back outside.

"Miss Potts is calling, Boss," Friday said.

Tony rubbed his hands together as he turned away from the window. He met Bucky's eyes. "Put her through."

"Tony, Happy and I are here. Now what is so important that I had to excuse myself from my dinner?"

"I don't- there's no easy way to say this Pep, so I'm just going to say it. Rhodey's gone. He- his last mission didn't go well. Something went wrong. He was KIA." Tony said quickly, once again pacing in front of the windows.

"What? Oh my God, Tony. What?" Pepper's shaky voice filled the room.

"Boss, are you sure?" Happy asked.

Even though they couldn't see him Tony found himself nodding. He cleared his throat. "Yeah, I'm sure. They notified me. When we are done talking I'm going to contact Maggie. Get her working on it."

Tony startled a bit when Bucky appeared next to him. He took the mug the other man offered. Once Tony took the mug, Bucky gripped his shoulder again before moving back to the sofa. Tony shot him a small, pained smile.

"Oh my…" Pepper said. "Should we cancel the rest of the trip?"  
"No, there is nothing you can do here. Rhodey was practical. A lot of what needs to be done he arranged. Just as I have. It was easier. So, no, stay. You should be home in time for the funeral. We have worked too hard to get this foothold in Japan. There is nothing you can do here."

"I don't like the fact that you are dealing with this alone."

Tony looked at Bucky than said softly "I'm not alone. Bucky is keeping an eye on me. He's helping me."

There was a pause before Happy said "Well, we're glad someone is helping you. Are you sure you don't want me to come home? I can get Chuck and Ted here to stay with Pepper. I can come home."

"No Hap, stay there. There isn't anything you can do here either. I just didn't want you guys to hear it when the news breaks. I need to go… I-I'll talk to you both soon. Once I have a better idea of when the funeral will be I'll let you know."

"Okay, Tony." Pepper said softly. "Don't forget that we are here. I can help from Japan too, if you need me to."

"Thank you."

"Anything you need, Boss, you know that."

"I know Hap. I'll talk to you both soon." Tony waved his hand and Friday ended the call.

Tony settled on the opposite side of the couch from Bucky, still holding his coffee. He drank the now cool liquid in one long drink, needing the jolt of caffeine. Bucky took the mug from him and went into the kitchen. He came back a minute later and handed Tony a full mug. He noticed it was prepared the same way. He drained half the mug then set it on the coffee table. Tony gently tapped his fingers on the reactor casing, not seeming to notice the grimace of pain on his face as he did so.

"Alright Friday, let's give Maggie a call."

Tony told Maggie all he could about what had happened to Rhodey. It was a long conversation that he was tired of minutes into it. They hung up with a final assurance from her that she "would handle it". When the call disconnected, Tony laid his head back against the cushion and just breathed for several long seconds. He looked over at Bucky and asked "Any advice on how to handle this? Should I tell Steve alone and let him deal with telling the others, or do I gather everyone together and tell them all at once?"

Bucky thought about it for a minute before he said "I think it'll be easier on you if you tell Steve alone. Plus, he will probably be more… Reasonable alone. I'm sure you notice that he feeds off Maximoff and Barton."

Tony just nodded. They fell into a comfortable silence. The genius wasn't usually one for sitting and wasting time, he had too much to do for that, but he felt like he needed a few minutes before he went to find Rogers. He didn't hate him anymore, and he had for a while, but hatred was exhausting. All that hate was doing what hurting him. However, Tony didn't think he'd ever be able to trust him again. He could fight with him. Tony knew he was too good of a soldier to allow someone under his command to die without trying to protect him, but Steve Rogers was no longer welcome in his personal life. They hadn't spoken much since they had been back. When they did it tended to be short and tense. Tony knew he was trying, but the problem was, he still didn't think he had done anything wrong. Not really. Rhodey had been livid to know a soldier, an American soldier, had left an ally alone to die. America didn't even treat its enemies that badly.

Tony pushed himself to his feet abruptly. "Sitting here isn't getting anything done. After I talk to Steve I need to talk to the funeral director, start that process. Are you staying here or coming with me?"

Bucky stood up, collected their mugs and moved toward the kitchen. Tony watched him put them in the sink, then he turned to look at him. "I'm coming with you. I'll stay out of it for the most part but-" he just shrugged.

"Fri, where is Rogers?"

"He is in the common room drawing."

Tony just nodded and left the room, the super soldier trailing after him. Tony found Steve where Friday had said he was. He was sitting on the sofa, back against the armrest, socked feet on the cushion beside him, with a sketchpad open on his thighs. He looked up when they entered.

"Hey Buck, Tony," he said, closing the book.

Tony moved further into the room, Bucky moving with him. Tony settled across from him as he studied Steve. He seemed a bit tense, but Tony knew that was from his presence. He leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees.

"If you have a few moments, I would like to speak to you."

Steve turned around so he was sitting straight up. He looked at Tony for a long minute, blue eyes narrowed before he nodded once.

"I got a visit, two days ago now, from the Air Force. Rhodey's mission didn't go as planned. Something went wrong. He was KIA." Tony said, voice steady.

Steve sat back in his seat, clearly this wasn't what he had been expecting. A frown pulled at his mouth. "Why wasn't I informed before now? I am the leader of the Avengers. I need to know when one of the Avengers isn't available."

Tony felt himself rock back slightly at the harsh words. He couldn't believe that that was what he was starting with. Tony looked over at Bucky when he growled out "Seriously Punk? That's what you're going with?"

"I just don't understand why I wasn't told earlier. I mean, of course I'm sorry for your loss. That should go without saying." Steve replied, shooting Bucky a look Tony couldn't decipher.

"Rhodey was unavailable anyway. He was on a mission from the President! You do not trump the President, Rogers, no matter what you think," Tony balled his hands into fists. He could feel himself shaking. He forced in as deep of a breath as he could take. Getting this angry wasn't going to help anything and he knew it.

"I never said I did. There you go again, telling me what I said. You always misinterpret my words. I swear you do it on purpose. You are a smart man. You shouldn't have any problems understanding what I mean, but you always do." Steve stood up, sketchbook falling to the floor. He jerked his hands through his blonde hair. "I don't understand why you have to do that Tony. Why do you always look for a fight?"

"I'm not the one starting a fight here, Rogers, that would be you," Tony stood as well, squaring off against Steve, the coffee table separating them.

"And yet, I'm the one using your first name."

"That doesn't mean anything. The first thing you do is want to know why you weren't told first or sooner or whatever. It wasn't to ask if I, his best friend, his brother, was ok. No, it was to demand to know why you didn't know this sooner. That's not what you do Rogers!" Tony stood across from him, breathing hard. His chest felt like it was on fire.

"He's a soldier, Tony. We all are-"

"I'm pretty sure I told you before I'm not a soldier!" Tony spat before turning away from Steve. "In fact I know I did. I understand that, Rogers, I do. I know every time I put on the suit that it could be my last. I know that, I accept it. I know Rhodey felt the same. I don't need you reminding me of that right now."

Steve rubbed his hand over his mouth then asked quietly "Well then, what do you need?"

Tony stood there staring at him. His shoulders slumped as his eyes closed. He turned away, back towards the door. As he started moving towards it he answered. "Nothing from you. I informed the Avengers PR team. When they have a statement ready they will send it to me for final approval, then release it. I'll let you know when the funeral is."

"Shouldn't the statement be sent to me? I'm the leader of the Avengers."

Tony stopped in the doorway and shot him a venomous look. "You might be the leader of the Avengers, but I am his next of kin." Then left the room.

Tony hurried through the compound, not in the mood to meet with anyone else on the team. He was exhausted from dealing with Rogers, he didn't want to have to deal with them too. The rest of them could find out with the press release for all he cared. Tony glanced a look back over his shoulder when he heard footsteps behind him. He wasn't surprised to see Bucky striding toward him. He didn't say anything when he caught up to him, simply fell into step beside him. They rode the elevator down to the lab. Friday light everything up as soon as they entered. Bucky veered off to the sofa tucked into the side of the lab.

"Bucky." Tony said and when the man turned to him, he tossed him a tablet. Bucky caught it deftly, as Tony knew he would. When Bucky gave him a confused look Tony explained. "I know you know how to use that. That way you're not bored down here."

Tony turned his attention back to the workstation he was at. He pulled up the instructions Rhodey had left for him. It had been updated last month. In the letter he explained that he updated his will as well, to reflect his new wishes. He wanted to be buried outside of New York City, the same cemetery Tony himself had bought a plot. He listed the funeral home he had set everything up through as well. There really wasn't much left for Tony to do. The military would take care of some of this as well. Tony got in touch with his funeral home and started that process. At this point he would have to wait to hear from the Air Force. With nothing left to do for his friend, Tony turned his attention to the latest SI project.

Tony started when a plate with two sandwiches, chips, carrots and grapes was set down in front of him. He looked up to see Bucky holding another plate with the same thing, only an extra sandwich. From the front pocket of the hoodie he was wearing he pulled out a bottle of water, and a bottled frappe, and set those down in front of him too.

"Eat," Bucky instructed as he slid onto a stool across from him.

Tony thought about refusing, he had a lot of work to do, but Bucky shot him a look and he decided it wasn't work the fight. He didn't want to argue with the one person in the compound who was on his side. He turned his attention to the sandwich. It was turkey with mayo, spicy brown mustard, lettuce and tomato. One of his favorite sandwiches. He looked back up at the other man, who was working on his own first sandwich. Bucky just raised a dark eyebrow at him and looked pointedly at his plate. Tony couldn't help but let out a chuckle. "You know you are very demanding."

"And you require a lot of looking after. How are you still alive?" Bucky asked as he picked up a carrot stick.

Tony let out a little laugh. "Rhodey, Pepper and Happy mostly."

There was a slightly uncomfortable silence as Tony registered what he said. He set down the grapes he was eating and started to push his plate away. Bucky reached out and stopped him with a gentle hand on his wrist. "Don't do that. You haven't eaten enough. Half a sandwich and a few grapes aren't enough. It's ok to laugh."

"I know," Tony pulled the plate back towards him and picked up the other half of his sandwich. "He could be gone, months at a time, but it never felt like this. I'm sure that sounds insane, but his feels different. I'm not sure how I'm going to live the rest of my life without him. Even when he wasn't here, he was here."

Bucky took a long sip of his drink and rolled the bottle between his palms. He didn't look at Tony when he replied. "I don't really know what to say. It's going to hurt for a while. You know this. You-you've lost people before. There is no real right or wrong way to grieve, unless you are hurting yourself. You can't do that. Just don't forget that you aren't alone. Don't shut us out."

"I'm not great at that, the whole not shutting people out thing. It's kind of what I do. That's why, except for Rhodey, I've never really had a lasting relationship. And unhealthy coping mechanisms is another thing I do."

"You don't have to. You have other options now," Bucky held up a hand when Tony went to say something. "Don't answer. Just think about it. That's all I ask. I know I probably don't have any right to even ask that but I can't not."

The two men finished their meals in comfortable silence. Tony didn't feel the need to fill it with pointless chatter. Bucky wasn't expecting anything of him. It was nice. He didn't have to put on his public persona, he didn't have to pretend to be fine, he could just be and that, in his life, was very rare. When they were done Bucky gathered up their plates and Tony went back to work. He finished up the project he was working on, a longer lasting battery for the starkpad, then stretched out his back. He looked around the room and found Bucky sitting on the sofa.

"Hey Snowflake, I could use a break. How about a movie?"

Bucky looked up from the Starkpad in his hands and smiled. "Sure. Anything in particular?"

Tony crossed to the couch and plopped down beside him. He couldn't help the grimace that crossed his face when he jarred his chest, but he moved on quickly. When he spoke his voice was soft. "Rhodey loved The Sound of Music. There were many days when we were at MIT where he was homesick. When he was that old tape of his would go on. His parents loved the movie. I was thinking we could watch that."

"Sure, that sounds good. I can't think of a better way to spend the afternoon."

Tony hesitated a minute, but then he reached back behind them both and tugged that old blanket off the back. He threw it over both of them just as the opening scene started to play. There was still a lot to do, but he was going to take a few hours and watch his Rhodey's favorite guilty pleasure.


End file.
